Qigong AF - Day 5

I'm tired...

Because I stayed up too late.

Why did I stay up too late?

I'm not telling. It's not important. It wasn't that interesting.

The important thing is that I'm tired today and that means I've had a terrible time myself motivated and focused.

I reeeally drug my feet today. I just didn't want to do my Qigong AF practice. I just didn't want to do much of anything.

So, I dilly-dallied...

I wanted some tea so I made up a rooibos chai, riffing off of a recipe from this awesome book:

Healing Herbal Teas by Sarah Farr - Get it here

It turned out pretty well, but I might add a bit of peppercorn for more of a kick next time. I like my chai spicy. 

Then I thought, "My back is hurting, why don't I guiltlessly enjoy my current state of unemployed freedom and read while drinking my tea and heating my back... in bed." Best idea evar. 

So I read this book for a while:

Witches of America - You may not like witches, but you'll like this book. Get it here.

Finally, I decided to get up and go shopping because there were hardly any fresh fresh veggies in my fridge and I literally live off of that stuff. I also needed to further procrastinate on my one and only goal in life - becoming Qigong AF - because my greatest super powers are avoidance and procrastination and I have to make sure I don't lose my desperately tight grip on said powers. 

Off to the store I went, getting kale, salad mix, pomegranates (I'm obsessed), and my heartburn lifesaver, kombucha - don't judge. 

When I got home I had finally run out of excuses, so naturally, I acquiesced, giving in to my commitment and got Qigong AF with Chris. I have to say, it felt great and my ability to stand through the whole practice is already increasing. I only sat once for a short meditation and made it through the rest standing. Thank you muscles for beginning to reawaken like a zombie brought back to life by a necromancer!

So, I pretty much got nothing else done today. 

Some days are just like that. Up until a few weeks ago I felt energetically contracted, like a rolled-up pill bug. I couldn't seem to get myself motivated and days would often fade away with nothing much having been accomplished. There are a lot of reasons why this was happening. I had just completed a mad two years of worker retraining at a two-year college and I was burnt out after juggling that with being a single mom. I have been struggling with various health challenges and that in itself is draining. But more than anything, I have PTSD from a variety pack of shit shows over the past 8 years and I had finally hit a spot in my healing where I was actually feeling things again. And all those feelings are like a ton of bricks, weighing you down.

Thankfully, I have a lot of support and a lot of tricks up my sleeve, so now I've turned a corner and most days are a bit easier. My focus is better and I'm more motivated. Creating challenges like this Qigong AF quest really helps and I'm already noticing tiny changes from doing it. 

Here's to hoping that I am successful in doing all 30 days of this challenge and that qigong will become for me, as Chris Shelton says, "A simple practice with profound results."