My First Quest - Qigong AF - Day 1

This picture of Martha Graham mostly has nothing to do with this post.

OMG, I don't have very much time because I'm a mom and I have to collect my small beast from school soon, so I have to get this post done ASAP (never mind - I made my mom go get her... this post is too freakin loooooong. Shut up already - I promise it's fun). Okay, here goes...

So, after a lot of pondering - I do a lot of pondering - I finally decided that I would take up my blogging hobby again so that I can better irritate my friends and family with content that they neither have the time nor interest in reading.  Also, I want to get better at things and I'm certain blogging makes you better at things...

Anyway, I thought a lot about various types of blogs that I could write and all of them ended up feeling too boring, tedious, or depressing (who wants to read sad stories about single moms anyway?).

But then I stumbled on a brilliant idea! The most brilliant idea I'd had in a long time.

"What about a blog all about me? A blog all about me and all for me!"

I know right? It was perfect!

There's nothing better than a self-congratulatory weblog dripping with narcissistic fervor! Especially in this day and age when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the Poster Child of Narcissism Himself, POTUS 45 the Great King of the United States resides in the White House.

I mean this era is all about the narcissists and I figure if you can't beat em, join em... am I right? Of course I'm right. I know everything (and it's your fault). But I digress...

So anyways, there I was, glowing in my revelation, because I finally had a blog topic that I could talk non-stop about and which would never bore me. But then I realized that I still needed some more structure in order to make it a good blog... a compelling blog. I needed some direction on how to make this awesome blog all about me, even awesomer.

And like a flash, I got it! (Because I'm smart like that).

I would create monthly challenges for myself. I would embark upon the hero's journey or the fool's errand - however you want to put it - and by so doing, I would grow and blossom like the most fragrant of corpse flowers. And I would write all about my experiences and people would read it and I would become internet famous and I would never have to work a day in my life again!

Yeeeah... uh... anyways...

So this brings me to today, December 1, 2017, the first day of the rest of my life - for the next 30 days. Beginning today, I will be working my way through Chris Shelton's 30 Days of Qigong For Better Health on YouTube and hopefully making fun of myself whilst doing it.

You didn't see that coming, did you? Just wait... I'm full of surprises!

Okay, here's why I'm doing YouTube Qigong for 30 days:

• It's free and I'm broke
• My body is broken and I figure Oigong, even badly done, might fix it
• I'm super woo and I believe in Qi (that's a slight lie, but it's more fun to believe in magic than not to)
• Chris Shelton bothered to map out a quest so that I don't have to think - and I don't like to think cause I'm lazy - thank you Chris
• I like Qigong and I want to learn how to do it so that I can look badass in parks when I'm old

Me doing Qigong -  butoh style

I'll be posting daily as much as I can - short posts that will be easy to scan - since I know you can't be bothered to actually read anything on the internet. I promise this will be one of my longest posts ever - mostly because I just don't have that kind of time, even if I am currently unemployed.

If you want to follow along with me and get all Qigong buff over the next 30 days, here's a link to Chris Shelton's 30 Days of Qigong: Qigong AF <------ That's what I'll be calling it from now on.

Look for more in the coming days friends - or as I like to call you - myself - my one and only reader. It's sure to be a crackin good time!

Now I have to go take my kid to see "Santa".

Later witches.